Mood: confused and kind of hurt
Listening to: Placebo – “Pure Morning”
Wearing: my purple striped arm warmers and the black skirt with the chains
Dear Diary,
So I talked to James online again today. He lives in the UK which is like… so far away but whatever, time zones don’t matter when you’re talking to someone who actually gets you, you know? We stayed up until like 3am my time talking about everything – music, movies, how much we both hate our schools. He sent me this mp3 of a band I’ve never heard of and it’s SO good. I wish he lived here. Or I wish I lived there. Anywhere but here basically.
But then something really weird and stupid happened with Lynn and now I’m just… I don’t even know.
I thought Lynn was my friend? Like my actual friend. And I thought that’s what friends did – they shared their other friends. That’s how you make MORE friends, right?? So I was looking at her AIM profile (which she posts publicly for everyone to see btw) and I saw she had this list of screennames of people she knows. So I added a couple of them because I figured if they’re Lynn’s friends, maybe they’d be cool to talk to too?
Well APPARENTLY that was like… the worst thing ever???
She got SO mad at me. She sent me this message being like “why are you adding MY friends, that’s so weird, I didn’t say you could talk to them.” And I’m just like… what? They were on your PUBLIC PROFILE. You literally posted them for everyone to see. How was I supposed to know that was off limits?
I don’t understand friend dynamics at all. Like seriously, someone needs to give me a manual or something because I keep getting stuff wrong and I don’t even know what I did.
Is it really that weird to add people your friends know? I thought that was normal. I thought that’s how social circles worked. But now Lynn is being all cold to me and I feel like I did something horrible but I don’t even understand WHAT.
Maybe I’m just not good at this whole… people thing. Maybe that’s why talking to James feels easier. We’re just online. There’s no unspoken rules I’m breaking because I don’t know they exist.
Whatever. I’m tired of trying to figure out what I did wrong all the time.
Going to bed now. Maybe tomorrow will make more sense.
– Luna <3
P.S. James said he liked my new profile picture. At least someone appreciates my aesthetic.
Current AIM away message:
“in a world of locked doors, the man with the key is king… or whatever”